I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
