Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
