Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
