All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Me too!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
