The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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