North Korea, Best Korea!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
