you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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