I have demons in me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
