You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
