Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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