So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You can't special order awesome
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Randomize
