My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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