Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
