he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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