remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
