After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
