Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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