i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
