you guys were way drunker than both of me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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