Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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