you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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