I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
