when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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