I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
