Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
