Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
