Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's get the cat blown out
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
