Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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