Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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