This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
