She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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