? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
