just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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