So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
