He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
