belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
