Just fell off a train. Bad.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i out mim tonsoeep
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
