On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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