i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
