Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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