thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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