I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
home. puking in laundry basket.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
