I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
