I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
