just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
