im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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