lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
