I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
