You're a womanizer and a bitch.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
