Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
