help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
