Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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