I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
