This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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